Living with criticism

Once, there was a politician who did the best job he could. But being human, he made mistakes and was criticized. Reporters repeated his errors in the newspapers. He became so upset that he drove out into the country to visit his dear friend, a farmer. "What am I goind to do?" the politician cried, "I have tried so hard. Nobody has tried as hard as I to do maximum good for the people. But still, look, how they criticize me !"
But the old farmer could hardly hear te complaint of this persecuted politician friend, because his hound dog was barking at the full moon. The farmer rebuked the dog, but the dog kept barking. Finally, the farmer said to te friend; "Do you want to know how you should hadle your unfair critics ? Here's how. Look at this dog; now, look up at the moon. Remember that people will keep yelling at you, they will nip at your heels and they will criticize you. But here's the lesson :
THE DOG KEEPS BARKING, BUT THE MOON KEEPS SHINING.
Criticisms are bound to happen. But that does not mean that we should get disheartened and stop the good work we are doing. Often those who criticize each and everyone do not know the reality in full. If we are criticized for doing good, we should be happy about it. Ultimately the criticizers will meet defeat.
Remember that only those who try to do something will face criticism. Criticizers have no subject to point out about those who do not do anything. Therefore, it is better to be criticized after having done something than wasting time doing nothing. If our hands become as active as our tongue, what wonders could be accomplished in this world !
There is another way of looking at criticism. That is criticism which is constructive or helps others to grow and enable them to contribute better. This type of criticism comes from an attitude of concern and unselfishness. If understood and taken in the right perspective, it will produce better results.
Before criticizing anyone or their activity, one should evaluate properly and study seriously the subject matter he is going to deal with. Otherwise, his viewpoint will not hold water. Criticism in literature is of this sort.
Those who are criticized also should take sometime to check whether there is some truth in what others say or point out. If found correct, they should have the readiness and courage to accept the fact. If there is not truth in it, they should ignore it just as the barking of the dog at the full moon.
People are quick to praise and quick to blame. Therefore pay no heed to what others speak of you.
Criticism can be of two types constructive and destructive. Constructive criticism is positive and is a must for our growth. Such criticism comes from our benefactors and friends. They, by criticizing us, try to bring out the best in us. Their sole aim is our growth and development. But we must beware of the people who keep on praising us for whatever we do. Quite often they are not sincere and their words may not contribute to our growth. Their only aim is to get your attention and appreciation.
Destructive ceiticism aims at destroying you. It may be out of jealousy or even hatred. The people who are worried about your growth may ceiticize you with a view to block your growth. Some people are extremely skeptical and they doubt anything you do. Hence they criticize. They cannot see anything positive in our work and go on discouraging us. Such criticism is also destructive.
If we criticize somebody, please make sure that we are genuinely interested in their growth. Our criticism should not destroy or discourage people. Destructive criticism is nothing short of murder as it blocks a person's growth.
When somebody criticizes you, your response shoule be positive and constructive. You have to listen to them carefully and accept whatever is relevant and useful and try to make changes in your action and attitude accordingly. Don't be worried about who makes the criticism, but be consious of what is being criticized. Criticism is a part of our life and hence do not be discouraged or hurt. Such things are necessary for growth.

Living with gratitude

Once a fifty - feet whale was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She had hundreds of yards of line roap wrapped around her tail, and her torso and a line tugging in her mouth.
A fisherman spotted her and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was in a vad state; the only way to save her was to dive and untangle her. But it was a very dangerous work. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.
They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her. When she was free, the divers say she swam ib what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed them gently around. She was thanking them. Some of the divers said that it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The man who cut the rope out of her mouth said that her eyes were following him the whole time, and he would never be the same.
Gratitude is the most beautiful and the noblest form of courtsey. The story of the greatful whale is very inspiring. If a whale can express its gratitude towards the people who saved it, how much more must man be thankful to the numerous people because of whom he is able to live a happy life. Man is intelligent and reasonable. He easily understands the sacrifice which other people makes for his well - being. But quite often he takes it for granted and doesn't feel the need of being grateful. How many of us will thank a ricksaw driver for taking us to the place we want to go ? How many of us feel that it is necessary to thank the people, who wash our clothes or clean our house ? If we prepare a list of people who help us to live easily, and in comfort, we will be surprised to see that our entire life is dependent upon other people. To satisfy our need, the toil and sacrifice of other people are needed. If we are aware of the fact, we will be greatful people and a greatful heart can only lead a happy life.
We are happy when other people thank us. Likewise, others also will be happy when we thank them. The normal tendency is to take things for granted. We seldom are ready to give credit to others for the achievements we made because of them. From the moment of our conception in our mother's womb till the moment of our departure from this world, we are dependent upon others. Our parents and teachers deserve life - long gratitude from us. In our day to day life we receive help from many people, some of them we may not even know. The soilders who guard our boundries risk their lives for our sake. Similarly, so many people work day and night to make life enjoyable for us.
Being grateful for graces we recive is the best way to forget our sufferings and shortcomings. There are many things which we don't have or are in badly need of. But there are many things which we already have. If we are disappointed because of the things we don't have, we will not be able to enjoy our life. But if we are concentrating on the things we have, we will be grateful to God and others, and we will be happy.
Hence let us count our blessings rather than our wounds. And thank God for putting roses among the thorns than complaining that God put thorns on roses. It is not sufficient always to be thankful. But we may have to express it. That is why it is written that "Unexpressed gratitude is like winking at someone in the dark. You know how you feel about them, but they don't."

Who am i ?

One day a philoshoper was walking down the street. He was lost in thought. Quite accidently he bumped into a man, who was walking along the same road. The philosopher did not stop, as he was still in deep thought. The man shouted, "Well, who do you think you are ?" The absent minded philosopher was heard to mubble, "who am I ? How i wish I knew ?"
This is a very interesting story. The philosopher did not know who he really was ! We all are very well trained to give the correct answer to the question "Who are you ?" But do our answer really reflect, the person, we are ? Quite often they do not. Because we are not our names. When I say that I am so and so, that does not fully explain who I really am. I may continue to explain : I am the son or daughter of Mr. so and so, this is my adress, I work here etc. But such phrases also do not explain our personality. In most of the cases we explain our physical features and other visible qualities. By our actions and behaviour, people may be able to understand a bit about our inner self. But again we are not what others think about us. Our parents, teachers, friends etc., may have some idea about us. And in most cases they may be true. But when it comes to an answer to the question "Who am I ?" all these ideas, knowledge, emotions and feelings need not give a perfect answer. Some people may describe themselves as happy, sad or worried. These emotions show the way they react to different situations in life.
Once a philoshopher said,"I am three persons : the persob I think I am, the person you think I am and the person I really am."
We are not always the persobs we think we are. Some of us will have very positive ideas about ourselves. Like a student who always says after his exams, thatvit was very easy and he would get distinction. But when the results are declared, it is quite contrary. In some other cases students are over worried about their result. They feel that they did not do well and they would fail. There are cases students taking the extreme step of even committing suicide. But when the result are out, they pass with good percentage. These and similar other examples show that our ideas and evaluation about everselves are not always correct. That means we are not always what we think we are.
As we form some ideas about ourselves, the people who live with us, or who are in touch with us also develop some ideas about us. It is always good to know others' opinion about ourselves. That will help ua to know ourselves more and more. A sincere friend can help us in many ways to find who we really are. And that will in turn help us to grow. But others' opinion also need not be true always. They can judge us only externally ; and cannot get a glimpse of our inner self. For that we have to turn to our own inner self. A critically evaluated and balanced understanding of our inner self is very essential for success in life. One has to know his or her own positive and negative qualities, weakness and strength, likes and dislikes and of course the talents and tastes. Confidence emerges from self knowledge. Quite often people pretend that they are great or respected people. Through pretension we may not acquire confidence or respect of other people. In every walk of life, self knowledge is the basis of success.
Understanding oneself is not an easy task. If we are aware, the strangeness of our behaviour will surprise us. Who do I like certain people, certain things, colours ? Why I respond to a sad news or to a happy one in a particular way ? What is my greatest weakness ? What are my positive qualities ? It could take montha and years to find answer to these questions.
Lack of self knowledge and awareness may cost us our very future. Especially if we fail to recognize our talents and potentials, we may not be able to live life in its fullness.
Many people continue to live in miserable condition because they do not know their true nature and hence they do not realize their potentials. Sadly they live on wishes and dreams. Had they recognized themselves and identified their weaknesses and strengths, they would have been different people today.

Life - a compromising journey

Life, how beautiful, how enjoyable. God gave this beautiful chance to every one on this earth. Without life the earth is like a desert, a sea without water, a cloud without moisture, a rainbow without colour. Really life is like a rainbow it has all the colours. As we enjoy seeing rainbow. We become happy by seeing a rainbow and its colours. In the same way there are different colours of life too.
There is happiness, there is sadness, there is everything in life. One should enjoy all the aspects of life. To make life beautiful n worth living.
But the problem is after receiving this boon from god we humans dont know to live life actually.
Some times we complain, some times we quarrel with god for our own life, n some times we are happy too.
My friends, a simple n cute solution for living life satisfactorily is to compromise with life. Make a compromise n u will see that life is worth living.
Here i make my self very clear that am not aaking to compromise in each n every aspect of life but there are some situations some circumstances in which if we compromise we can live happily then by being rude or going front in such situations or circumstances.
When we were young we had many wishes n most of the wishes were fullfilled by our parents. Some were not fulfilled but we didnt feel so disturbed or sad for that as we were not fulfilling it by our own self. When we were collegian we had more wishes but at that time also all the wishes were not fullfilled and at that time we felt sad as we had grew up and we could not bare that the wishes were not fullfilled. All that incomplete wishes made us sad n they lingered in our mind which made us more sad n irritating as we could not withstand that all our friends were having what they wished and we were not having it. So we started blaming others aspecially our parents for this situation.
I clearfy my self that all this situations prevail in middle class n poor class only.
Now after graduation we either go for a job or a small business and then try to fullfill our wishes by our own and all those wishes of the past which were pending, but the problem here prevails is that of the income. As there is limited income we could not fulfill our wishes n we start cursig ourselves and our fate too. As we get married our responsibility increases and again there is a barrier in fulfilling our own wishes. This all situation prevails untill our death.
So friends what is the solution for this situaion ? Is it so that we should live or adapt such life style as we are living ? i.e. full of anger and irritation ? No friends no its not the way to live. By this we cant enjoy the life.
Friends, if from our college life if we start to make compromise with this situation we could make our life worth living because if we compromise on this things which are not fullfilled it would not linger in our mind and we can think of our life in a very positive way. We can also fulfull our responsibility properly n make our family happy.
Here compromise does not mean that we lost in our life but it means that we thought of a different way of making our life happy. It does not mean that only materialistic possessions make life happy. There are many other things that can make our life happy n fruitfull.
So friends think it over and if possible make the life happy and fruitfull and most important worth living

Marriage Life.

When I was young I used to think about what is marriage.

When I was teenage I used to go with my family in the marriage ceremonies. I used to think what is this marriage ? How two unknown persons can live together for the whole life. Then slowly slowly I started understanding the real meaning of marriage.

Marriage is where two souls becomes one. Marriage is where the husband promises to protect, to love his wife and to give all the happiness to his wife for the whole life. In return wife also promises her  husband that she would make him happy in all the senses and be with him in all his difficulties. Will be in true sense an “Aardhangini”.

But friends when we see this world the real meaning of marriage is no were we feel that the real meaning is vanishing and a practical relationship is taking its place. Friends in todays world marriage is just an agreement nothing else. When we see a couple in public places we feel that how happy they are in their married life. But when we peen into their personal life we come to know that it was only a showoff. A showoff to show the world that they are happy. Actually they had an agreement of showing every one that they are happy but in real sense they are not.

After marriage the expectations on both the sides starts increasing on both the sides. We first take the expectations of the husband : he whishes that his wife should take care of his family, friends and relatives. She should make him also happy and take care of their children. He doesn’t want to take any responsibility except to earn money. He starts thinking himself as the boos of her wife and starts bossing on her. He starts expecting that what he says his wife has to do by hook or by crook.

Now we move towards the expectations of wife : No doubt she is coming after leaving her fathers house so its obvious that she would have more expectations than his husband. She whould wish that she should be treated well in her house, she should get love and care, she should be treated well by her husband and his family and childrens, she should get respect from her husbands family, friends and childrens. Her husband should fulfill all her wishes.

But the main problem starts from this very expectations my friends, when the expectations are not fulfilled both of them becomes sad then they are irritated and finally they starts quarreling and lastly if its out of control then divorce or an agreement that they will show all others that they are really happy but from inside they don’t even like to see each others faces.

Friends, my question is, Is this the real marriage which we were thinking of when we were young or teenage ? No, my friends no. Then ? What is the remedy for this ?

The remedy is so simple if we think it properly. Try to adjust each other, give respect to each other, try to understand each others feelings. I am dam sure that there would be a real happy marriage life there after.

So my friends, try to implement and think it over this matter seriously and please if it is possible make others understand this very simple solution of making a marriage life truly happy.